I happened to come across the post of Devdutt Pattanaik and as usual the man did not disappoint with his lines. In these lines he explains the dilemma of present day people. The desire for Perfection. It may well stand for parents who all want their sons and daughters to be engineers or doctors (most importantly from IIT, AIIMS, Harvard, Stanford , Oxford or Cambridge not that I hold anything against those who are already in there). Then the leftist utopians who want society perfect in their opinion and so with the Ultra-right wings who want society as per their choice and with their interpretation of perfection (in India’s case to determine who is higher and who is lower by birth , a viewpoint which Hindutva propagating elitist Brahmins do have (RSS ones to be specific has loads of them) and neither far behind are Jihadist/Ultra Right Islamist/ Wahhabis /Salafist who want their interpretation on world for everything, same holds true for Ultra right Christians (belonging to various thoughts of schools which includes Roman Catholics, Methodist, Protestants etc) and Ultra-right Jews)
This quest for “perfection” and every individuals own interpretation is without doubt a cause of conflict, however it does not mean that so called “imperfection‘ should be forced down the throat of others who disagree.
Let us ponder over it, for example some parents will let their child go through emotional and psychological roller coaster so that child may reach their interpreted perfect state (sometimes such quest is also termed as Child Abuse) .
A girlfriend/ boyfriend would “test” their counter parts to an extent that their relationship breaks (Cause of an abusive relationship). We desire ideal teachers even though we might know the he/she might have prejudice against us owing to color, caste and religion ( reminds me of battles of Karna and Eklavya in Mahabharat).
Mothers who would make child’s life miserable in order to make her daughter a perfect girl ( someone with things which she was not able to posses or achievements she was not able to get and then finally get this daughter of her a ‘perfect‘ match) or the son whom she wishes to convert into her interpretation of a perfect man, when she feels let down by all other men in her life including her brothers and father. The craving for that self made idealism or perfection would make her go to any extent. The most important point here being that this state of perfection is her self made or thrust upon her by some vindictive souls (a complexity of today’s world).
I may not be wrong in my observation that intolerance breeds from not willing to accept diversity, not willing to accept that if she has three sons, all three will be different. Someone might like a Nike shoe, someone an Adidas one and someone a Jordan shoe. Will her belief in a particular brand (say Nike) make her other two sons imperfect in her view point and if so, should it ?
Then again, my words above can be interpreted by my naysayers as my desire for a ‘perfect’ mother.
Talking about the concept of ‘perfect Husband‘, females usually identify such when they start comparing their spouses with their successful fathers, brothers or her sister’s husbands (in short brother-in-laws). This idea of perfection only goes till those beings with which she has close contact (thereby making her obliviate of the fact of other interpretations of perfection). Usually it is also effected by how much easier her life the person in question has made which is fueling the cause of comparison that she makes with respect to her “not so perfect” husband. This desire however does causes her misery. Something which Devdutt Pattanaik mentions in above lines.
The perfect wife, well I guess for this many can be accused including the so called role models. Every individuals interpretation of a perfect wife varies from the physical looks:
- Is she like Sharapova (The Tennis superstar)
- or like Gisele Bündchen (The German-Brazilian supermodel)
- or like Asli Tandogan (The Turkish actress)
- or like Candice Swanepoel (Victoria Secrets model)
- or like Diane Kruger (German actress, who played Helen in Troy)
- or like Nazanin Afshin-Jam ( The Iranian Beauty)
- or like Dilan Gwyn
- or like María Valverde (The Spanish Actress)
- or like Laetitia Casta (The french beauty)
- or like Eva Green ( The french actress )
- or like Nathalia Ramos (The Spanish Actress)
- or like katherine webb ( Sweet Home Alabama, baby)
- or like Kristin Kreuk ( The Canadian Actress)
- or like Rachel Hurd-Wood ( The British Actress)
- or like Saoirse Ronan (The Irish Actress)
- or like Yelena Isinbayeva (the Russian Olympic gold medallist )
most importantly what is her eye color: Blue, grey, green, Brown , Black or each eye has different color. Her hair color also matters: Red, black, blonde, brown, white, does she color her hair often like purple or green”
to her habits :
Is she cleanliness oriented, does she rides bikes, does she climbs mountains, does she plays extreme sports, is she feminine stay at home type, Is she a late riser, does she eat non-veg, does she wears traditional clothes or revealing ones ,does she uses colorful abuses 🙂 , does she smokes and drinks, most importantly does she NOT nagg ?
to possessing skill sets:
notably is she like Nigella Lawson while baking, can she help in her man’s work, help with presentations and all, Can she manage the finances, does she poses motherly qualities,Is she knowledgeable, fields of qualification…. ?
to her money:
Is she rich even though she might be not so good looking and pain in the ass and whose money is that her Daddy’s or her own ?
to her education:
MIT,Yale, Princeton, Columbia,Harvard, Stanford, Oxford, Cambridge, Cornell, UCLA,AIIMS, John Hopkins, IIT, blah blah blah…… but for some no education and hot figure does wonder just like a white paper, you can write whatever you want without questions asked.
Finally who is her DADDY (it makes men decide whether their life will be miserable one or a pleasant one if they end up accidentally with her :D)
Now coming to those who govern the nation the Bureaucrats and Politicians. For latter part I would refrain to comment because it is a waste of time but for former it needs to be understood that any system can never be perfect. No matter how automatic your response gets still that ‘perfect‘ Bureaucrat will never be there. Even for that matter the interpretations of perfections would keep on changing or evolving. Example the profit margins, idea of success, the time Bureaucrat needs to devote to Public (that risks him/her being ‘imperfect’ husbands or wives). The idea of economic success on which he/she works. No doubt there are certain principles which needs to be followed but interpretation of the actions vary. Example an uptight one might be loathed for not being flexible, a flexible will be loathed for not being uptight, a reformist will be loathed for sidelining traditionalist and a traditionalist one will be loathed for not being a reformist. Left, center and right wing ideas do play a part here but then each one is perfect in their own ways for those who follow them.
Coming to starting remark made by Devdutt Pattanaik, I have read enough to understand that in Indian Mythologies two characters are most important Krishna and Ram, I would like to believe that none were perfect (though it might seems that I am doing it to justify my own imperfection and Ultra-right wing might not accept this view point). I ask when such imperfection lie among ‘gods’ then why should a MORTAL man be forced to be a symbol of perfection ?
No wonder Anti Hero’s of today are a rage as none are perfect ones but full of flaws, few I would like to mention who I like:
- Danny Archer in Blood Diamond (played By Leonardo Di Caprio )
- Michael Corleone in Godfather (Played by Al Pacino)
- Batman in Batman series by Christopher Nolan (Played by Christian Bale)
- Xander Cage in xXx (Played by Vin Diesel)
- Sherlock Holmes (played by Robert Downey Jr)
- John Rambo (Played by Stallone)
- Captain Jack Sparrow (Played by Johnny Depp )
- Don Draper in Mad Men (Played by Jon Hamm)
- Nicholas Brody in Homeland (Played by Damain Lewis)
- The ‘Great’ Hank Moody in Californification (Played by David Duchovny, Mathaaa Fackkaa)
- Dexter Morgan in Dexter (Played by Michael C Hall )
- Michael Scofield in Prison break (played by Wentworth Miller)
- Tony Soprano in Sopranos (Played by James Gandolfini)
- Spartacus in Spartacus series (Played by Andy Whitfield and Liam McIntyre)
- Gannicus in Spartacus series (Played by Dustin Clare )
- Hawkeye/Nathaniel Poe in Last of the Mohicans (Played by Daniel Day Lewis )
- Richard Riddick in Chronicles of Riddick (Played by Vin Diesel)
- Captain Nathan Algren of The Last Samurai (Played by Tom Cruise)
- Cameron Poe of ConAir (Played by Nicholas Cage )
- Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious series (Played by Vin Diesel)
- Yuri Orlov in Lord of War (Played by Nicholas Cage)
- Achilles in Troy (Played by Brad Pitt)
In short there is more to life than being just ‘PERFECT‘ !