Tag Archive: Child Abuse


The word feminist in dictionary means the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. Like most of the causes it also started out as a noble cause to make sure a large amount of work force doesnot goes untapped and could be payed equally.

The question how ever remains is with the multiple waves of feminism and the militant form of feminism emerging (which consider “all men as pigs of worst kind”). How will a boy be raised by women with such ideology in comparison for a girl ?

Will he be subjected to same “atrocities” as a chauvinist does to a female child or like “true feminist” say they will become “real balancers” for gender equality ?

A Quote which must be seen carefully, stating the feminist ideology :

We need to politicize motherhood and to recognize the work that mothers do – we need to claim that work for feminism, to learn its strategies, so that we might convince mothers that as much as feminism needs motherhood, mothers also need feminism. (Quoted from Hirsh 367 on page 254)

Can a feminist do justice to being a mother of a boy child by not making him a feminist by not influencing him(or not allowing her husband to make him a chauvinist) but rather letting him become a true chivalrous gentleman with traditional ideologies ?

In most of the debates that I have seen online and in live audiences either the woman stops being a feminist (out of protectiveness for the male child) or makes the life of the male child worse, by being extra strict.

I can’t help but notice a very similar type of behavior pattern for feminist of today and chauvinist who they are trying to “uproot”. If you would listen to their lectures and watch them talking you can get a sense of how they want the world to be: A matriarchy (as though that will set everything right). No wonder there are faults being “discovered” where men are “running the show“. It is but all “fair” if they fight the “so called oppressors”. The problem arises when they target the future generations and their desire to cripple the other gender and particularly target young boys, so that they can “balance” the world.

The case where the apparent feminist might have a son and a daughter, the question is how much she would “cut the boy to right size” and “upgrade the girl enough” so that she feels it equality has prevailed ?

Additionally can a mother of “daughters only” give an expert opinion on how boys should be raised and treated by her girls ?

Shouldn’t that be a bastion best left to people who actually have a male child or those with no real experience of raising a male child be experts in pointing to the way a male child must be raised(since she believes that she is  an expert after receiving a bad relationship from her male relatives) ?

The whole idea of feminism revolves around the fact of woman rights only ( as many scholars have time and again said that woman rights and child rights are two separate topics completely as women are abusive towards kids, in this case the weaker of the two lot ), so for a mother obsessed with woman rights, will the rights of a boy be considered equally and given paramount importance ?

The big question however is that feminism always say men are exploiters but will they become exploiters themselves so that they could “nullify male superiority” for the future female generations ?

A girl child might be allowed to do things which a boy child might be refused (citing the behavioral pattern that the feminist mother might feel about boy and thereby “training the animal right”). A boy might be disallowed to talk to girls or be friends with them, go out at nights or even go for adventurous trips (if they don’t follow the code of conduct prescribed by their feminist mother) but certainly a girl might be allowed to interact with the opposite sex and allowed to “find herself“. The girl might be allowed to do all the “wild” things men are suppose to do/have done and boy child would be made to sit at home getting lecture at how bad men are.

How can a feminist mother keep “true” to her feminist ideology and at the same time be “true” to her son as a mother,since he will be at the receiving end or a combination of innovative approach with a mix feminist-Traditionalist ideology (which many people also term as humanity) be a new outcome of raising a boy child by her. In this process the father’s role is being subverted throughout . By keeping in dark or just using  a male’s sperm to get impregnated not becoming an act of “use and throw” approach which the earlier feminist use to abhor deeply ?

In order to address such situations feminist have been having their intense debate within and some women with the good hearts have undoubtedly said that feminist have made young men confused at to what they should do( and in reality bit overdone this victim-hood non-sense), as most of them wanted to convert their society into feminist one( with everything coochi coochi). In this process extincting the “male masculinity” and “machoness”. Eventually then getting bored and disliking the “tamed and well groomed metrosexual man(beast)” that they have created.

The point being the boys feeling subverted/manipulated to “groom” him right and girls feeling “enraged” to empower her. Can these simple act not be classified as abuse of    the right of boy in the process of being a man ?

Feminism in developing world usually take a leaf out of the “developed” world (as they can teach the “right” thing and not visa versa) , but do these developing world feminist are willing to understand what boys feel or is it too out of the world for them( and additionally accept their flaws too). It has been widely understood that woman become feminist out of oppression of themselves in the hands of their male peers of elder males in the families since they cannot understand their “feeling”. It may be so that in process of being a man in order to not get affected by emotions in decision making ,they needed to subvert their feelings. A phenomena which has been successful to men for thousands of years.(but how can a man expect a feminist to understand this feeling, after all it is always other way round)

After reading the question many feminist would say that they can be good mothers and provide their male child with the right education, but who decides what the right education for being a man is, someone who is not even a man ?

These question though insignificant to some but are relativity important in terms of parenting and specially parenting a male child by a hard core feminist or at least feminist sympathizer . The pink male population might give it a pass by not getting involved in order to get married to “set” of women who “looks beautifully right” but has a underlining agenda for a matriarchy dominated society is just ridiculous. Using young boys as guinea pigs to “realize” their dreams by such “beautiful women” is equally ridiculous.

I watched a lecture once where a “ex-feminist” was saying that rather being a feminist and chauvinist first movement, it should human rights movement at whole as the whole idea is so misplaced. Since if you propagate human values then “everything” should come under rights and if someone wishes to be complacent in this approach then, morality in asking or telling what is “right” is certainly lost.

In this war against boys concept where a feminist is picking on a young boy rather than fight a man(to settle their scores), so that she may protect a better future for a girl is completely despicable.

I always wondered that in  societies across world, it is always said that female are looked down upon and are victimized by the men especially their male relatives. They are not given adequate opportunities , position of power, not listened to etc.

What if it is other way round too ?

Scenario 1 :

A female because of  “partial ” treatment meted out on her decides to take things in her hand  and chooses to do partiality in context of her son and daughter, she is more partial of her daughter in little things and avoids giving his son the “powers”, therby denying him something that was done to her.

It might be her own way of  ” balancing ” the world but would that amount to abuse ?

Scenario 2 :

Young girls picking on a boy, well that is something which we must have witnessed through out our childhood, must have seen a guy been picked on by a group of females or even your self. There is a theory that girls from all girls school are far more aggressive and adventurous compared to those from co-ed education. Though there are many individuals who consider this theory to be a fluke too( but that is for another day).

Scenario 3:

There are then cases of female pedophiles who use their gender to escape the punishment from the law. Now the “politically” correct male and fem-Nazi female will never accept such phenomenon and blame males for all sexual abuses. The question still however remains, are we all living in  a denial ?

.

Scenario 4:

A female boss hell bent at making males under her suffer more than females , well just for the reason she despises them and they cannot be ” Trusted“. ( A case of bringing personal issues to the table)

Scenario 5:

Where a female demands more of the money and accolades  with less of the work, citing her gendre and her role in society. I got an interesting video in this regard.

One knows that many would not agree especially in India because they seem to have a phobia of associating “mother” or Females with something like this and if they find the mother is under some illness (Psychological)then the whole family is sidelined.

One just wonders can’t women in powerful position be accused of something similar of what men do ?

Though in their case the amount of power they control can be an issue. Over the years many things seem to have come in light in the change of a  female behavior: her taking to smoking and drinking, leading a single life with multiple partners, never having a baby, terrorist activities ,pedophiles etc. ”  in lines of a male behavior “…..

Can we still on a general level classify them as the victims ? It is a question that reverberates in my mind ? Though still to a larger extend woman are in prostitution or in bad marriages etc but that can’t take away the fact that some women “choose” to be “different”.

It has been into the foray especially after the feminist movement came into the being. Surely during the period it was done females were deprived lots but over the period of time as they have gained powerful spots and were raised in an environment  of “equality”  their behavioral response to various subjects have also changed.

Though one does not wishes to take credit out of the genuine women who work and help their families get better but it seems our world isn’t Bipolar any more in terms of of female behavior and activities, some call it “inflation” which is necessary ,some just get angry of changing scenario and some are indifferent.

What ever it may be but one thing is sure that that the world it use to be 10 or even 20 years back is no longer same in terms of woman rights and their behaviors or their response systems and if a woman can comment on how bad a man treats her, the days are not far when same charges will be started to be made on females in times to come.

Bullies and psychology

One has always wondered as to what runs inside the mind of people who criticize others for no matter and not acknowledge others feeling but their own.These respective individuals are known as “bullies” , one can find them in schools , play grounds, offices, shops, colleges even at home in some cases.

For starters one needs to understand who are “bullies” and mental conditions leads them into such a state.

  1. Bully is someone who usually tries to correct you for beginners.
  2. If not listened to properly might get aggressive.
  3. He/ she might have an understanding that they are well versed with knowledge and right people to help.
  4. Might have had a turbulent past in terms of relationship and workplace.
  5. Wishes to always pin point flaws in other people (negative personality).
  6. Gives an impression that he/she is understanding but rather gathering points from your conversation to get back at you.
  7. Takes things away from you by act of force.
  8. Always trying to get charged up.
  9. Shows superior intelligence level to the point of humiliation.
  10. They might think bulling is a way of getting popular and getting what they want.
  11. They think calling names being angry , pushing around humiliating is the way normal people act.
  12. Bullies will not know about the hurtful action that they perform.
  13. They pick at people or children who get upset easily and cannot stand up for themselves.
  14. Getting a big reaction out of someone makes the bully feel they have power over them.

for further definitions click onto :
In Cases Of Families :

A father or a mother may be bully pushing his child too hard, whereas he might be thinking he is working for better of the child

In some cases some mothers are worst culprits though it seems very unwise and foolhardy to suggest such examples, though situation can vary if mother is having a strained relationship with father or others.

eg:

A male child might be at a receiving end every time when his father behaves like a jerk that is to say not giving attention to wife or the mother might have faced some of the “sexist” or shall one say dishonorable remarks . This behavior of mother may well be characterized as feminist by some people or disciplinary, but one wishes to ask won`t it still called bullish ?

A female child at a receiving end by father because he has gone through humiliation on the hands of pretty girls , upon watching his female child being pretty or wishes to be center of attention of opposite sex , he takes out all his frustration of his past on her. Make her go through humiliation and constant criticism.

These are but a few instances of the whole picture though,these abused children as being one of the cases grow up with certain prejudices about opposite sex and might exhibit a violent behavior and themselves become abusive towards others.( so in this case a cycle)

In cases of races :

Certain races due to their past histories exhibit war-mongering behavior and since some of the traits get institutionalized they are not able view it differently. Children from such backgrounds both males and females have ” violent streak ” in behavior. They tend to be more restless in their approach and more inclined in putting others down. These individuals take a lot of time in getting control over themselves (some have even pointed out about their high sexual energy as a culprit).

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1809

http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Ug_b1zmsSpUC&pg=PA80&lpg=PA80&dq=high+sexual+energy+and+aggression&source=bl&ots=_lANosAmbt&sig=-Tq3a61hz_uAgflUk6BuYuO9n_c&hl=en&ei=z46fSsvXJ4SBkQWsosnVDw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5#v=onepage&q=high%20sexual%20energy%20and%20aggression&f=false

http://www.scribd.com/doc/12774045/The-Sexual-Energy-Elixir

When children from these respective races interact with those from other background ie to say non-warrior traits, they rake up a lot of issues.Sometimes this leads to vengeful behavior from other part who tends to take out their frustrations in other ways eg: workplace, educational institutes, parties etc. Their children are abhorred upon and not given adequate chances without realizing that they are being sent back into the same dungeons.

Drinking and smoking by such races also results in aggravating their aggression and thus citing it as a classical case of psychopathy.

Higher Intelligence :

Some individuals due to school or college they went or being from high ended family background tend to have a compulsion to make others feel insulted and  re-establish the firm notion that they are high off or better.These individuals without even realizing tend to exhibit another classical case of bullism where you under value and under appreciate others. In their crazed quest to be correct “educationally” they fail to understand how “uneducated ” their respective approach is probably they might require a dose of humanly religious value in them.

Countries :

Now comes the role of the countries.

In cold war scenario US and SOVIET Unions use to exhibit their intimidation techniques with  other weak countries.

Israel`s aggression towards Lebanon and Palestine could also be termed bullish, though some would like to state that Palestine is full of terrorist but do give a thought to how much of strength does the Palestinians have in front of a nuclear power country like Israel !!

For some time the issue of racism is being raised in Australia by Indians there. They are repeatedly beaten up insulted etc….. It also exhibits a sense of bullish behavior but at a larger scale. In this case the poor of the country, frustrated by their lack of jobs and comfort level target”outsiders”, since they see them taking away their right.

They restore to racial slurs, beating, verbal abuses and in some cases physical violence which may lead to dangerous levels or deaths.

The larger question remains is that……………….. Is India an equally racist aka bullish country or it is part of human nature to be so and the discussion needs to be just brushed under the carpet.

Though your Bullish behavior in India could be seen in :
  1. Religious activities.
  2. One part of India better than other (such as north people insult southern Indians)
  3. Most recently the rise of money have led to formation of money divide : the rich and the poor.
  4. Rich would make a point to be known that he is rich by his snobbery and insulting pointing out his high class education and notably for places where only money or good cloths could get you in, the poor `s response to that is a gang and an aggressive behavior in order to meet her/his ends meet
  5. Your ragging also comes under bullying behavior.
  6. The most evident is the example which i saw one streets of Delhi : a child was running his fingers across a brand new Mercedes and the driver shrugged the child of as thought he was planting a bomb in the car.

There are plenty of such behavior one can see on our day to day life and some times we ourselves are perpetrators into enforcing these behaviors though we try shrug them off or say the respective individual is nuts, lowly educated, dumb or from lower race(ie exhibiting non acceptable behavior of a human race ) ……

Some commonwealth countries seem to be higher on this behavior though we know this as there high headed or colonial hangover.

Classes :

This is one of the basic breeding grounds of unethical behavior. When child pin points at other child citing his “unnatural” behavior according to his/her minute judgment which in most cases she /he has imbibed from family or from peers , one does wonder is the child`s ego talking or intelligence or non-compassionate thinking or she/he is a mere puppet blurring out the line read to him by her/his close associates..

The heavier build children do this by trying force themselves upon lighter children to prove the point as to who is in control here.

One is well versed with the physically bullish behavior but the question arises about the mind games that children play , the will to instill fear among the child by the dominant player.

But the biggest question is from where do we start correcting it…………. ?

may be females could play a good role as mothers, sisters , daughters, girlfriends, wives ………

But only if they fall into the same trap !

One wonder though does one needs to be always bullish can`t a healthy conversation pin point the fact or serve the objective that one desires to achieve or our being correct is so much important that other person must pay with life also in some cases, though one takes a point to think that may be this is the only reason that humans have been able to survive this long and compared to other species they have been more dominant player.. in the ANIMAL KINGDOM !

A movie was made in this regard in Hollywood based on true story named BULLY

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