The same-sex vs Co-ed education !

This question has plagued me for quite some years as what is difference in the behavioral aspect of a female who is educated from same sex to the girls who has been educated in a co-ed school. Convent school education is generally gender specific that is boys only or girls only. The focus is to keep them at bay which is not cases in public schools. Now likely so when such guys and girls meet opposite sex they have variety of thoughts and usually these thoughts vary in extreme and so do their behavior.

In a recent study in India it was found that most parents want their children to get a coed education this is driven by the fact that guys should not feel depleted from the presence of girls and girls for one could learn to handle guys better.

It is also seen that those in coed education have better in handling opposite sex issues such as in work place and in relationships too they are better.

“Upon meeting girls from all-girls school and they suggested me to Co-ed school only” says one of the parent. “The reason they cited was that in a all-girl or all-boy schools the kids become “excessive attracted towards opposite sex”. Later they may also develop cold feet talking, mixing with opp. sex .Moreover, recently, I read an article where it stated that each boy and girl should be nurtured in a normal way in other word co-ed should be the right environment for proper mental growth”,he adds further

Though another one counters it by saying “I say this from my personal experience as well: I had always been in convents and was a good student. 9th to 12th I moved to a mainstream top school that was co-ed. I noticed the girls were very self conscious. The boys dominated the class discussions. In  the convents, we girls were really boisterous, had tons of loud fun and of course we did the silly giggling and talking about boys but that was it. I feel the girls in the new school lacked confidence and were very conscious of how they appeared to the boys. They had already started playing second fiddle to the guys at this young age! ”

Undoubtedly the institution is priority before getting into co-ed and all-boys or all-girls schools debate but lets assume that we are comparing schools which are same in terms of education but issue is more for same gender or co-ed education. Some parents especially in the case of girls might want out of protectiveness or conservatism that the girl need to be in all girls school. Since they might feel uncomfortable of their girl mixing with boys.

In Britain all-boys schools are booming in Britain as more and more parents are now shunning the idea of co-ed institutions as those apparently led boys to act “tough” or “play the fool”.

Though in term of personality if we talk then the child’s personality depends quite a lot on parents for example if a mother is strong dominating woman then it is more likely that her daughter ought to be if not same but confident. Same goes for the son , it is the confidence instilled by the parents in the child which would matter the most.

The question which seem to bugs me more is that some parents choose to keep their girls or boys in same sex schools so that they could avoid them to be “sexual” and when the right time comes they will pack their wards off to a marriage with their suitable choice. Though the outcome of such union is always a dicey one as if either of the bride or groom have been in same sex school then certain things can really get difficult at home.

In one of the forms I read a comment which I found quite correct by  Kashish Mahajan “hey according to my opinion go for co-ed school it not only gives a child confidence but also teaches him/her how to behave while sitting among or with different types of people. it also gives us experience with different kind of people and moreover it is the best way to build a person’s social understanding so without any hesitation go for it get your daughter in a co-ed. I m also a girl and knows that truly.”

There are some interesting findings over the years about same sex schools :

1. The popular belief about same-sex education was that it upheld general stereotypes about gender, such as women should study nursing and men should study engineering. Experts at that time believed that coeducation dispelled those gender myths. That ideology turned out to be relatively inaccurate.
2. Boys in coed schools are less likely to take up the arts in fear of being labeled a homosexual.
3. Boys are also less likely to take advanced courses in fear of being labeled a geek.
4. Girls, on the other hand have experienced some of the same problems on the reverse side.
5. Girls avoid math and science in order to not seem masculine.
6. Socially, same-sex schools are emotionally easier on students. Stereotypes based on gender are not a huge issue in these settings.
7. Girls are more outspoken and competitive when boys are not around to tease them.
8. Girls feel more comfortable participating in sports and traditionally male dominated fields when boys are not watching.
9. Boys become less competitive and collaborate more because they don’t have to worry about girls’ opinions of them.
10. Boys feel free to participate in the arts with a class full of other boys.
11. Studies have also suggested that the benefits are more evident in girls, lower income families and minorities.
12. Author Rosemary Salomone, argues that there is a place for same-sex schools. In her book, Same, Different, Equal: Rethinking Single-Sex Education (Yale University Press 2005), she examines the benefits of single-sex education in the public realm.

But like all there is a flip side too:

1. Some opponents also suspect that same-sex schooling will either push students into exploring homosexual relationships,
2. It could lead high level of curiosity and desire for opposite sex in both male and female which may spill problem in later stages of life when in marriage or work places full of opposite sex.
3. It could increase gender stereotypes and homophobia.

In my research on the topic things which i have found is that parents of girls are more inclined to get them into same sex school rather than the parents of boys. They have said that it is got to do more with the gender-bias that the girls might have to endure in a co-ed education along with harassment from boys which might deplete the girls confidence.I couldn’t agree with them because in my own experience I have seen enough girls raising their view point which are sensible also being appreciated and applauded by boys .By not allowing girls to face the realities of life these parents are doing a great injustice to their girls because sooner or later they will get a taste of real world conflicts why not start strengthening them from childhood.

As for boys well if I may say so, without girls around I don’t think they might behave properly and more so feel a desire to prove themselves.Additionally a harmless chats with females will help understand woman folk better and become part of their education process.

Though the theories and debates that same sex school might be good for your wards grade might hold true but it doesn’t necessarily guarantees that your ward will have good relationships : either friendship or marriage.

Colors and psychology

Colors have been an integral part of our society for thousands of years; different civilizations have used colors as a mark of their identities.

Although color psychology is a relatively new area of scientific research, ancient civilizations believed in the influence of color on humans. The ancient Chinese, Egyptians, and Indians believed in chromotherapy, or healing with colors.

Color psychology is viewed dubiously by mainstream psychologists and therefore qualifies as “alternative medicine“. Critics view it as an overstatement of what can be justified by research, and point out that different cultures have completely different interpretations of color.

Practitioners of color psychology, sometimes called color consultants, claim there are a number of reactions to color which seem to be noted in most persons. They also note that common physiological effects often accompany the psychological effects.
Religions have been focusing on colors for many centuries now; we can well point the use of saffron color in HINDUSIM and SIKHISM. Green as color is extensively used in ISLAM and even some countries have green flag. Red has become a symbol of Communism or socialism or associated with labour movements. White for one is associated with peace and meditation.

Scientific researchers have been trying to find in-depth secrets of colors in modern age using technology and there has been various success stories and the growing fascination it seems to be coming from big corporate houses in order to impress their customers and widespread their reach.

The biggest use of color psychology is done on traffic signals where RED, ORANGE and GREEN are used to inform drivers about the state of traffic and their present position in the traffic, it is the biggest exercise in the world  where no word is used for communication yet management is performed efficiently.

Researchers have found exposure to blue light can increase confidence and boost happiness levels, research suggests. A group of volunteers were exposed to a range of colors and lights. They found that blue and green made male subjects feel happier, while blue, purple and orange did the same for women.

Color, without our realizing it, can have a profound effect on how we feel both mentally and physically. Dr. Morton Walker, in his book The Power of Color, suggested that the ancient Egyptians as well as the Native American Indians used color and colored light to heal. Below are some emotional associations that humans tend to have with certain colors. These are important to keep in mind in order to create the mood you are seeking.

Red

Positives: Passion, strength, energy, love, sex, excitement, speed, heat, leadership, masculinity

Negatives: Danger, fire, blood, war, anger, revolution, radicalism, aggression, stop

Blue

Positives : Seas, skies, stability, peace, unity, harmony, tranquility, calmness, coolness, confidence, water, ice, loyalty, conservatism, dependability, cleanliness, technology, winter

Negatives: Depression, coldness, obscenity, conservatism, technology, ice, winter

Green

Positives: Nature, spring, fertility, youth, environment, wealth, money, good luck, vigor, generosity, go, grass

Negatives: Inexperience, envy, misfortune, jealousy, money, illness, greed

Yellow

Positives: Sunlight, joy, happiness, optimism, idealism, wealth (gold), summer, hope

Negatives: Cowardice, illness (quarantine), hazards, dishonesty, avarice

Purple

 

Positives: Elegance, sensuality, spirituality, creativity , wealth, royalty, nobility, ceremony, mystery, wisdom, enlightenment

Negatives: Cruelty, arrogance, mourning, profanity, exaggeration, confusion

Orange

Positives: Energy, balance, heat, enthusiasm, flamboyance, playfulness

Negatives: Warning, danger, fire

 

 

White

Positives: Reverence, purity, snow, peace, innocence, cleanliness, simplicity, security, humility, marriage, sterility, winter

Negatives: Coldness, sterility, clinical, surrender, cowardice, fearfulness, winter

Black

Positives: Power, sophistication, formality, elegance, wealth, mystery, style

Negatives: Evil, death, fear, anonymity, anger, sadness, remorse, mourning, unhappiness, mystery

Female : A victim in the world ?

I always wondered that in  societies across world, it is always said that female are looked down upon and are victimized by the men especially their male relatives. They are not given adequate opportunities , position of power, not listened to etc.

What if it is other way round too ?

Scenario 1 :

A female because of  “partial ” treatment meted out on her decides to take things in her hand  and chooses to do partiality in context of her son and daughter, she is more partial of her daughter in little things and avoids giving his son the “powers”, therby denying him something that was done to her.

It might be her own way of  ” balancing ” the world but would that amount to abuse ?

Scenario 2 :

Young girls picking on a boy, well that is something which we must have witnessed through out our childhood, must have seen a guy been picked on by a group of females or even your self. There is a theory that girls from all girls school are far more aggressive and adventurous compared to those from co-ed education. Though there are many individuals who consider this theory to be a fluke too( but that is for another day).

Scenario 3:

There are then cases of female pedophiles who use their gender to escape the punishment from the law. Now the “politically” correct male and fem-Nazi female will never accept such phenomenon and blame males for all sexual abuses. The question still however remains, are we all living in  a denial ?

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Scenario 4:

A female boss hell bent at making males under her suffer more than females , well just for the reason she despises them and they cannot be ” Trusted“. ( A case of bringing personal issues to the table)

Scenario 5:

Where a female demands more of the money and accolades  with less of the work, citing her gendre and her role in society. I got an interesting video in this regard.

One knows that many would not agree especially in India because they seem to have a phobia of associating “mother” or Females with something like this and if they find the mother is under some illness (Psychological)then the whole family is sidelined.

One just wonders can’t women in powerful position be accused of something similar of what men do ?

Though in their case the amount of power they control can be an issue. Over the years many things seem to have come in light in the change of a  female behavior: her taking to smoking and drinking, leading a single life with multiple partners, never having a baby, terrorist activities ,pedophiles etc. ”  in lines of a male behavior “…..

Can we still on a general level classify them as the victims ? It is a question that reverberates in my mind ? Though still to a larger extend woman are in prostitution or in bad marriages etc but that can’t take away the fact that some women “choose” to be “different”.

It has been into the foray especially after the feminist movement came into the being. Surely during the period it was done females were deprived lots but over the period of time as they have gained powerful spots and were raised in an environment  of “equality”  their behavioral response to various subjects have also changed.

Though one does not wishes to take credit out of the genuine women who work and help their families get better but it seems our world isn’t Bipolar any more in terms of of female behavior and activities, some call it “inflation” which is necessary ,some just get angry of changing scenario and some are indifferent.

What ever it may be but one thing is sure that that the world it use to be 10 or even 20 years back is no longer same in terms of woman rights and their behaviors or their response systems and if a woman can comment on how bad a man treats her, the days are not far when same charges will be started to be made on females in times to come.

Bullies and psychology

One has always wondered as to what runs inside the mind of people who criticize others for no matter and not acknowledge others feeling but their own.These respective individuals are known as “bullies” , one can find them in schools , play grounds, offices, shops, colleges even at home in some cases.

For starters one needs to understand who are “bullies” and mental conditions leads them into such a state.

1. Bully is someone who usually tries to correct you for beginners.
2. If not listened to properly might get aggressive.
3. He/ she might have an understanding that they are well versed with knowledge and right people to help.
4. Might have had a turbulent past in terms of relationship and workplace.
5. Wishes to always pin point flaws in other people (negative personality).
6. Gives an impression that he/she is understanding but rather gathering points from your conversation to get back at you.
7. Takes things away from you by act of force.
8. Always trying to get charged up.
9. Shows superior intelligence level to the point of humiliation.
10. They might think bulling is a way of getting popular and getting what they want.
11. They think calling names being angry , pushing around humiliating is the way normal people act.
12. Bullies will not know about the hurtful action that they perform.
13. They pick at people or children who get upset easily and cannot stand up for themselves.
14. Getting a big reaction out of someone makes the bully feel they have power over them.

for further definitions click onto :

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm

http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html#

http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/school.htm

http://careerplanning.about.com/od/bosscoworkers/a/bullies_at_work.htm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/6078247/Humour-is-an-act-of-aggression.html

http://www.forbes.com/2008/03/22/health-bullying-office-forbeslife-cx_avd_0324health.html

The real issue arises as to are their some races, homes, families, countries, classes, higher intelligence where they exist.

In Cases Of Families :

A father or a mother may be bully pushing his child too hard, whereas he might be thinking he is working for better of the child

In some cases some mothers are worst culprits though it seems very unwise and foolhardy to suggest such examples, though situation can vary if mother is having a strained relationship with father or others.

eg:

A male child might be at a receiving end every time when his father behaves like a jerk that is to say not giving attention to wife or the mother might have faced some of the “sexist” or shall one say dishonorable remarks . This behavior of mother may well be characterized as feminist by some people or disciplinary, but one wishes to ask won`t it still called bullish ?

A female child at a receiving end by father because he has gone through humiliation on the hands of pretty girls , upon watching his female child being pretty or wishes to be center of attention of opposite sex , he takes out all his frustration of his past on her. Make her go through humiliation and constant criticism.

These are but a few instances of the whole picture though,these abused children as being one of the cases grow up with certain prejudices about opposite sex and might exhibit a violent behavior and themselves become abusive towards others.( so in this case a cycle)

In cases of races :

Certain races due to their past histories exhibit war-mongering behavior and since some of the traits get institutionalized they are not able view it differently. Children from such backgrounds both males and females have ” violent streak ” in behavior. They tend to be more restless in their approach and more inclined in putting others down. These individuals take a lot of time in getting control over themselves (some have even pointed out about their high sexual energy as a culprit).

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1809

http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Ug_b1zmsSpUC&pg=PA80&lpg=PA80&dq=high+sexual+energy+and+aggression&source=bl&ots=_lANosAmbt&sig=-Tq3a61hz_uAgflUk6BuYuO9n_c&hl=en&ei=z46fSsvXJ4SBkQWsosnVDw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5#v=onepage&q=high%20sexual%20energy%20and%20aggression&f=false

http://www.scribd.com/doc/12774045/The-Sexual-Energy-Elixir

When children from these respective races interact with those from other background ie to say non-warrior traits, they rake up a lot of issues.Sometimes this leads to vengeful behavior from other part who tends to take out their frustrations in other ways eg: workplace, educational institutes, parties etc. Their children are abhorred upon and not given adequate chances without realizing that they are being sent back into the same dungeons.

Drinking and smoking by such races also results in aggravating their aggression and thus citing it as a classical case of psychopathy.

Higher Intelligence :

Some individuals due to school or college they went or being from high ended family background tend to have a compulsion to make others feel insulted and  re-establish the firm notion that they are high off or better.These individuals without even realizing tend to exhibit another classical case of bullism where you under value and under appreciate others. In their crazed quest to be correct “educationally” they fail to understand how “uneducated ” their respective approach is probably they might require a dose of humanly religious value in them.

Countries :

Now comes the role of the countries.

In cold war scenario US and SOVIET Unions use to exhibit their intimidation techniques with  other weak countries.

Israel`s aggression towards Lebanon and Palestine could also be termed bullish, though some would like to state that Palestine is full of terrorist but do give a thought to how much of strength does the Palestinians have in front of a nuclear power country like Israel !!

For some time the issue of racism is being raised in Australia by Indians there. They are repeatedly beaten up insulted etc….. It also exhibits a sense of bullish behavior but at a larger scale. In this case the poor of the country, frustrated by their lack of jobs and comfort level target”outsiders”, since they see them taking away their right.

They restore to racial slurs, beating, verbal abuses and in some cases physical violence which may lead to dangerous levels or deaths.

The larger question remains is that……………….. Is India an equally racist aka bullish country or it is part of human nature to be so and the discussion needs to be just brushed under the carpet.

Though your Bullish behavior in India could be seen in :

1. Religious activities.
2. One part of India better than other (such as north people insult southern Indians)
3. Most recently the rise of money have led to formation of money divide : the rich and the poor.
4. Rich would make a point to be known that he is rich by his snobbery and insulting pointing out his high class education and notably for places where only money or good cloths could get you in, the poor `s response to that is a gang and an aggressive behavior in order to meet her/his ends meet
5. Your ragging also comes under bullying behavior.
6. The most evident is the example which i saw one streets of Delhi : a child was running his fingers across a brand new Mercedes and the driver shrugged the child of as thought he was planting a bomb in the car.

There are plenty of such behavior one can see on our day to day life and some times we ourselves are perpetrators into enforcing these behaviors though we try shrug them off or say the respective individual is nuts, lowly educated, dumb or from lower race(ie exhibiting non acceptable behavior of a human race ) ……

Some commonwealth countries seem to be higher on this behavior though we know this as there high headed or colonial hangover.

Classes :

This is one of the basic breeding grounds of unethical behavior. When child pin points at other child citing his “unnatural” behavior according to his/her minute judgment which in most cases she /he has imbibed from family or from peers , one does wonder is the child`s ego talking or intelligence or non-compassionate thinking or she/he is a mere puppet blurring out the line read to him by her/his close associates..

The heavier build children do this by trying force themselves upon lighter children to prove the point as to who is in control here.

One is well versed with the physically bullish behavior but the question arises about the mind games that children play , the will to instill fear among the child by the dominant player.

But the biggest question is from where do we start correcting it…………. ?

may be females could play a good role as mothers, sisters , daughters, girlfriends, wives ………

But only if they fall into the same trap !

One wonder though does one needs to be always bullish can`t a healthy conversation pin point the fact or serve the objective that one desires to achieve or our being correct is so much important that other person must pay with life also in some cases, though one takes a point to think that may be this is the only reason that humans have been able to survive this long and compared to other species they have been more dominant player.. in the ANIMAL KINGDOM !

A movie was made in this regard in Hollywood based on true story named BULLY